Inspired by Catherine’s Nightmare I wrote her feelings in a #BATB Poem…"Aftermath of a Nightmare." Part 1
I wake screaming And realize it was a nightmare. I didn’t kill him Vincent is not dead It felt so vivid, so real. The tear, the blood, The lifeless eyes frozen, Staring at me in pain, hurt, betrayal. My heart hammers in terror…still Where did it come from? Why did my mind go there? Was it the words of my damned father or the ultimatum by Gabe… Oh my God! Gabe… I turn and see him in this bed. What have I done? How did I get here? Not with my Vincent but with the very man who tried to kill him, kill me…if not for Vincent. How did I betray him this way? Leave Vincent? Walk away? Choose Gabe over Vincent? I can’t… I won’t… What have I done? How did I get here? Vincent and I were meant to be. I told him that, Hit him over the head with it. Said countless times I accepted who he was But when he came back changed Through no fault of his own; Tortured, Controlled by my monstrous father, Memories erased, I didn’t hold true. I pushed and pushed and pushed; used him, his beast… What did JT say? “It’s hard to be Dr Jekyll when everyone wants Mr Hyde…” My Vincent who even through his beast has shown more… humanity than all of us. We all betrayed him. Tried to mold him to what we wanted to see And he has tried so hard for so long to feel worthy. Fighting his beast. Wanting to be a man and we wouldn’t let him. Pushed him to Tori, his beast taking over. Didn’t see his pain, his struggle. The emptiness he felt, But seeking what little warmth he could find With someone who understood him better than I did… For a time. And I should have Understood! I loved him more than life But I shot him Yes, I say to myselfI did it for him,but in his state he could only seeThe betrayalThe anguish.That was real.I did thatI swore to protect him.I didn’t keep my promiseI protected a monster insteadCan I live…A life without Vincent?It’s not possibleMy heart wouldn’t surviveWho am I?What have I become?How did I get here?In this place with…Gabe?No.No longer.I can’t!I won’t…do this anymore.Vincent what have I done?How do we return to each other?JT said you were doing this for me.Beast cold turkey he called it -Desperate to be the man I fell in love withAnd you are that man again.I was blind, didn’t seeWhen you went publicYou wanted that with me oncePicket fences…You saved me time and time againSaved TessSaved JTEven saved GabeFor me.Because, because…You love me still, I know that nowIf you can do this for meI can do no less for youTo be worthy of youI start by making a choice.
I CHOOSE YOU VINCENT.

Inspired by Catherine’s Nightmare I wrote her feelings in a #BATB Poem…

"Aftermath of a Nightmare." Part 1

I wake screaming
And realize it was a nightmare.
I didn’t kill him
Vincent is not dead
It felt so vivid, so real.
The tear, the blood,
The lifeless eyes frozen,
Staring at me in pain, hurt, betrayal.
My heart hammers in terror…still
Where did it come from?
Why did my mind go there?
Was it the words of my damned father
or the ultimatum by Gabe…
Oh my God!
Gabe…
I turn and see him in this bed.
What have I done?
How did I get here?
Not with my Vincent but
with the very man who tried to kill him,
kill me…if not for Vincent.
How did I betray him this way?
Leave Vincent?
Walk away?
Choose Gabe over Vincent?
I can’t…
I won’t…
What have I done?
How did I get here?
Vincent and I were meant to be.
I told him that,
Hit him over the head with it.
Said countless times
I accepted who he was
But when he came back changed
Through no fault of his own;
Tortured,
Controlled by my monstrous father,
Memories erased,
I didn’t hold true.
I pushed and pushed and pushed; used him, his beast…
What did JT say?
“It’s hard to be Dr Jekyll when
everyone wants Mr Hyde…”
My Vincent who even through his beast has shown more…
humanity than all of us.
We all betrayed him.
Tried to mold him to what we wanted to see
And he has tried so hard for so long to feel worthy.
Fighting his beast.
Wanting to be a man and we wouldn’t let him.
Pushed him to Tori, his beast taking over.
Didn’t see his pain, his struggle.
The emptiness he felt,
But seeking what little warmth he could find
With someone who understood him better than I did…
For a time.
And I should have
Understood!
I loved him more than life
But I shot him
Yes, I say to myself
I did it for him,
but in his state he could only see
The betrayal
The anguish.
That was real.
I did that
I swore to protect him.
I didn’t keep my promise
I protected a monster instead
Can I live…
A life without Vincent?
It’s not possible
My heart wouldn’t survive
Who am I?
What have I become?
How did I get here?
In this place with…Gabe?
No.
No longer.
I can’t!
I won’t…
do this anymore.
Vincent what have I done?
How do we return to each other?
JT said you were doing this for me.
Beast cold turkey he called it -
Desperate to be the man I fell in love with
And you are that man again.
I was blind, didn’t see
When you went public
You wanted that with me once
Picket fences…
You saved me time and time again
Saved Tess
Saved JT
Even saved Gabe
For me.
Because, because…
You love me still, I know that now
If you can do this for me
I can do no less for you
To be worthy of you
I start by making a choice.

I CHOOSE YOU VINCENT.

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  8. mmzilla reblogged this from vincentcatagainsttheworld and added:
    So beautiful - I got chills
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  11. jdee-langga reblogged this from batbpassion and added:
    OMG!!! I got chills and tears on my eyes reading this! It totally expresses everything that has remained unsaid! I...
  12. kdaly23 reblogged this from batbpassion and added:
    Love this
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